You know that young girl…
She’s pretty. She is good (if not great) at almost everything she tries. She is confident. Maybe a little overconfident. She’s precocious. She’s bossy. She’s the leader of the pack.
Ladies, here’s what’s not okay…
It’s not okay for you to decide that she is ‘too this‘ or ‘too that‘. It’s not your job to take her down a peg or two.
Sure, she may be a royal pain the ass on occasion. Particularly if you see her bossing your daughter or son around. Especially when she seems to have an answer for everything.
However, that girl: she was me.
…and it’s not okay that at 40 years old, I’m still unravelling the damage inflicted by grown adult women upon my self-confidence, my self-worth, and my self-acceptance.
I get it, most of you ladies reading this would never dream of being cold or aloof to a young girl. You would never give her reason to believe that you don’t like her. You wouldn’t purposely blank her in conversations. And you sure as hell wouldn’t be noticeably nicer and more inclusive to everyone else but her.
However, even if you’re equally kind and inclusive to all of your daughter’s or son’s friends, you still need to read this.
Because, if one day your daughter (or son) comes home and says, “So and so’s Mom doesn’t like me“, you need to pay very close attention.
As a young girl (and the oldest of 4 children), I developed a strong need to be liked and approved of by those in authority. Yes, I was a bit of a ‘suck-up’ to my teachers and loved the attention I got as the ‘teacher’s pet’.
However, I was also very sensitive.
Over my entire childhood, I experienced several occasions where grown adult women (sometimes Moms, sometimes teachers) decided it was their job to ‘put me in my place‘ because… well, I really actually don’t know why.
But oh how it hurt. Oh, how it made me question why they didn’t like me. Oh, how it caused me to question whether I was good enough, likeable enough, worthy enough of their attention.
As an adult woman now, I can only imagine the emotional pain those women must have been in to justify their behaviour. Hurt people hurt people. It’s amazing what emotions like jealousy and resentment can do to us if left unchecked.
However, that doesn’t make it okay.
Unfortunately for me, my parents didn’t have the awareness or the tools to handle these situations when they cropped up. They weren’t able to support me in the way I needed. Sure, they knew what was going on and always had my back, being appropriately ‘outraged’ at my unfair treatment.
Yet, they never told me that these women were emotionally scarred and that they must be in deep emotional pain to take their feelings out on a child. They never told me that these women’s behaviour meant absolutely nothing about me or how amazing, likeable and talented I was.
Please be aware that I don’t blame my parents for this, they supported me in the best way that they knew how.
I also don’t blame these women for causing eternal damage to me. Lol. I have compassion for their pain, even if their behaviour was completely irresponsible.
The truth is, I am surprisingly grateful for these experiences and the awareness I now have around them. They were a small and impressionable part of my past and a powerful reason why the Women in Progress movement is so damn important.
It’s part of the reason why I am here to combine my leadership skills and my sense of fun to inspire, educate and empower our generation of women to free themselves so the next generation of girls (and boys) are not passed down our pain and past subconscious conditioning.
So, if your daughter (or son) comes to you and says, “So and so’s Mom doesn’t like me“; please, pay close attention and start a powerful dialogue with them about their internal presence and power.
And if you feel triggered by one of your daughter or son’s friends; please, pay close attention to why you feel the way you’re feeling. Be honest, be the adult and take responsibility to shift those feelings…
…a young girl (or boy’s) future could depend on it. ~ Sally G X
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