Let me tell you, I really love swearing. Particularly F-Bombs. Effing, F, F, F. So, it won’t take much to translate the title of this Blog into the true vernacular that goes on in my head. I just don’t need to repeat these words in public.
Not because I’m a prude or because I’m trying to look professional.
But because I just don’t need to repeat these words again; ever!
If I look back over my life and in particular, the past 10 years; this phrase has wrecked more havoc in my world than any other.
I have had this thought, sometimes whispered quietly in my head and at other times a deafening roar (with more F-Bombs than even I am comfortable with!), too many times to count. It’s been front and center on my health journey, it has dominated my business and it has even teased my family life.
What I have come to realise recently, is that the ‘problem’ is not that I am an anomaly on this planet. It’s not that everything is working for everyone else, except for me. Yes, that thought has crossed my mind (because the universe has clearly singled me out to be the one and only person in this world who doesn’t get their desired results!).
On the face of it, I can’t really blame myself (wah wah wah!). I have tried pretty much everything to get well. I did work my ass off on my business only to get extraordinarily disappointing results.
Can you imagine how easy it is in this mindset, to step onto the slippery slope of comparison, jealousy, major self-doubt and a general sense of worthlessness? Seriously, if I heard another person say they feel ‘so energised and healthy‘ after drinking a couple of green smoothies… or they are like magnets for new clients and easy $20k months… grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
Yet, the smoothie drinkers, the successful entrepreneurs, the people ‘out there’ getting the job done and living life well, are not the problem.
In fact, there is no problem! The only problem is the problem I have created in my head. The problem is the thought, and that thought is underpinned by some very unhelpful beliefs that I have entertained in my psyche for a very, very long time. Probably most of my life.
It’s my thoughts and beliefs about myself that have caused me to give up too early, to flit around like a butterfly on speed and to not stay the course. Because, it’s so blinking easy to cosy up with what’s familiar. It’s so easy to play the same old record, rather than to get off my butt and upgrade not only the music but also the system!
So, 44 days into my heavy duty detox, with only very subtle changes (if any) to the neurological symptoms I have been expressing for over 10 years, there has been a whisper in my head. It’s too early for the F-Bombs, but I’ve been at this gig for long enough to start questioning and wondering whether this is going to be just the same as everything else I have tried!?
NOT THIS TIME, baby! Through Psych-K Processes, mediation, yoga and the help of my amazing friend Christina Hearns from Namaste My Friends; I have a new resolve that is stronger than anything I’ve experienced before.
For the first time, probably ever; and notwithstanding the contrary evidence… I BELIEVE! ~ Sally G the Healing Machine X
PS To all your smoothie drinkers, successful entrepreneurs and those crushing life; from my ‘I believe’ perspective, you are a true inspiration and the evidence of what’s possible for me. Thank you!